My most depressing visual novel

As I've stated in other devlogs, I have been very depressed and angry the last few weeks. This is mostly because of my job and how stressed I am there. I'm very depressed and for a few weeks nothing seemed to bring me any joy.

That changed this week for some reason because, for one day I felt happy and motivated, or at least moreso than I felt for a while. I went out and had a chicken lasagne from a local pizza place, saw a horror movie in a packed theatre, smoked a joint that I had been saved, and stayed up all night finishing this visual novel.

Then, I play-tested it and posted it and it felt like all of the motivation and happiness I had drained from me. The unfinished project sitting on my computer for weeks untouched was finally done, and I kinda liked it, but I felt no motivation to write a decent description, take screenshots, basically do much of anything to spruce it up a little.

That led to feeling self-hatred towards myself and I became depressed again, crawling onto the floor and sleeping, ignoring my grumbling stomach because I skipped breakfast, and lunch.

Regardless of all of that, I feel as though there is an audience for a visual novel like this, but I don't know if it's in the AVN community. I feel like the market for this would be on Tumblr, and it would emerge after the bloggers there discovered it somehow and made posts about it, and their followers make memes based on the dialogue and scenes in order to get their favourite bloggers to notice them. Dang, that sentiment sounds as childish and cynical as a 14-year-old.

What I'm kinda saying is that I feel as though the audience for this isn't the typical AVN fan, it is the ladies, specifically the ones that ship two young boys together in their fanfiction stories, who lament the impossible beauty standards pushed upon them, who want to feel like a strong, independent woman and because of that want a weak man who will shower them with praise every day and be loyal to them forever.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that I think my Chinese audience will adore this visual novel, especially the finger stuff.